Inveraray Castle, Inveraray, 31 August-2 September 2007

The Divine Comedy on the Oyster Stage (photo - James Littlewood).

‘THERE’S no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing’ says a smiling local shopkeeper as we buy our eggs, beer, and midge repellent. It’s already wet underfoot but sunlight dapples the hillsides. It’s no good looking to the sky for a hint as it changes its hue every minute.

Still why should I care about the weather? I’m on my way to Inveraray, a long way from Yorkshire, and wondering what a boutique music festival is.

Within the hour I’m getting clues. I’m laden down like a Sherpa, weary and confused and wondering how many thirty minute pilgrimages from car park to camp site I will need to make.

I’m part of an endless tide of grumpy music fans trudging slowly onwards and upwards with rucksacks, suitcases, tents, pillows, guitars, duvets, and whatever else is required to make it through three chilly highland nights.

The woodland path resembles a toboggan run made from melted chocolate. After a while the surreal sight of packs of Tennants being transported on plastic sledges hardly raises an eyebrow.

Hot confusion reigns at the festival gates as the throng waits to trickle its way forward. In the far distance lies the wild beauty of Loch Fyne, all gun metal grey and moody. But the middle distance isn’t so picturesque.

A tract of reedy marshland is being passed off as the campsite. Unfortunately rain showers and thousands of pairs of feet have already transformed it into a medieval battlefield. The toilets are few and very far between, and I count five sinks and one tap for fresh drinking water. It’s all a bit depressing, but I remind myself that it’s all about the music. Isn’t it?

Inside the castle grounds the beer is flowing free (well, three quid a pint actually) and CSS singer Lovefoxxx prowls the Oyster stage in a shimmering catsuit as the Brazilian band please the crowd their hit ‘Let’s Make Love and Listen to Death from Above’.

Jarvis Cocker ambles on to the stage looking like a laid-back physics teacher. His solo sound is like unadorned Pulp but the lyrics retain the same pin point accuracy and bite. ‘Big Julie’ and ‘Tonight’ stand out, as does a crowd-pleasing cover of The Skids ‘Into the Valley’.

Elsewhere a small but partisan crowd have their hankies out as Glaswegian band Aerogramme play their last ever gig. Nouvelle Vague turns the Manicured Noise tent into a mass choir with their lounge version of ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’.

Local dedications abound as Super Furry Animals’ announce that “each night we like to play one of our songs in the style of our favourite Scottish bands”, and proceed to play ‘Northern Lites’ in the style of Teenage Fanclub. The Super Furries show is well attended and the audience is treated to the band’s greatest hits.

The legendary Beastie Boys headline Friday. They’re full of their trademark energy, style, and humour; they’re slick entertainers and make light work of whipping up the crowd.

Looking like extras from the X Files and constantly moving across the stage, Mike D and Ad Rock are the hyperactive pair while Yauch poses and looks cool. The hits come, as do tracks from their new instrumental album. It’s a great set and an impressive end to a day of contrasts.

Saturday brings some proper festival sunshine at last and The Divine Comedy is one of the highlights of the afternoon. Despite playing the crowd pleasing hits like ‘National Express’ and ‘Something for the Weekend’, it is the slow uncoiling and bittersweet ‘A Lady of a Certain Age’ that steals the show.

Despite fading from the nineties limelight, Neil Hannon is still a star, and has more poise and intelligence than most songwriters of the Britpop generation.

The latest saviours of guitar music, The Hold Steady, are a gang of maturing men in a very good bar band, with the geeky hyperactive Craig Finn for a singer. They peddle a great line in AC/DC-meets-Springsteen anthems. They amuse, entertain, and inject some honest fun into the afternoon.

Modest Mouse are a surprise. I admit to knowing very little about them in advance but something in the bouncing, bearded, and nautical themed Washington band’s tunes is intriguing. That that they have ex-Smith Johnny Marr in tow to add his melodic frills and unmistakable songwriting style to their recent collaborations is a huge bonus.

It’s the golden oldies to end as Jesus and Mary Chain return from the dead to great cheers, and Primal Scream provide the boozy dishevelled rock and roll poses. On the second stage Echo and the Bunnymen sound fresh and alive playing their unique hits like ‘The Cutter’ and ‘The Killing Moon’.

By Sunday things have become relaxed and the increasingly disgusting campsite has just become a fact of life. As I contemplate the mud on my boots while relaxing with a coffee in the excellent Speakeasy café I’m beginning to get used to living at a castle with fifteen thousand other people.

The Oyster Bar catering tent is the place to be for great local food and much needed late night puddings. The Whisky bar has me coughing and eyes watering as I sample the local booze.

Bjork’s sunset performance almost redeems everything. Accompanied by LFO’s Marc Bell, Chris Corsano on drums and an all-female, all-Icelandic ten-piece brass section which recreates the original string parts on songs like ‘Hunter’ and ‘Joga’.

Bjork’s voice is stunning and her music is everything that an outdoor festival in such a beautiful setting should be. I swear that one point the fir trees are listening closely to this truly great artist at work.

LCD Soundsystem and Hot Chip can’t compete with Bjork for sheer originality, but they seranade the Connect crowd back to their tents with a solid dance-orientated send off.

As morning arrives I’m glad to be going home, looking forward to a shower. But Connect had great music and a great setting. Perhaps in years to come they’ll fix the toilets, but I doubt it. It seems there’s no such thing as a bad festival, just bad smells.

(Early Bird tickets are now on sale for the Connect Festival 2008 – see website below)

© James Littlewood, 2007

Links

• Connect Festival