Ullapool, 22 September 2007

Franz Ferdinand (photo - Jennie Macfie).

IF ROCKNESS is a hot dog washed down with a slab of Tennants, and Belladrum is a bottle of champagne with a venison roll, Loopallu is a mug of home made soup and some squat lobsters….

Delayed by a succession of unfortunate happenings, I only make it to Ullapool in time for the last few numbers from West Yorkshire’s finest, Tiny Dancers. A band who can stake a claim to exclusive use of the word ‘idiosyncratic’, their songs defy categorisation, veering cheerfully and erratically across genres.

Their wardrobe is similarly eccentric – flaxen-haired lead singer David Kay swirls around in a flowing mediaeval tabard/poncho hybrid as bizarrely irresistible as their music. They finish with ‘Baby Love’, from their John Leckie-produced album ‘Free School Milk’ ( you can tell just by the titles we’re not talking about an Oasis clone here, can’t you?). The Loopallu audience laps it all up.

I can’t think of a more perfect place to hold a festival than the shores of Loch Broom. Loopallu’s ace in the hole is that it is on a properly equipped campsite, which means not just proper toilets but also hot showers – how many festivals can offer such luxury? The permanent roads through the site, plus thoughtfully placed event decking throughout the marquee, beer tents and all areas of high traffic means that even with a non-stop deluge, there will never be a Glastonbury style mudbath here.

It’s a small (3,000 maximum) but very well run event, with a strong community element (locals selling home made soup and shortbread to raise funds for a swimming pool) and a crowd that is friendly and good humoured even by Highland standards.

But listen! Cheers from the marquee herald the arrival of the Family Mahone (Rusty, DJ, Christy, Donal, Charlie and Doc) from Cheshire (and Manchester), a Pogue tribute band headed up by radio DJ & TV presenter Mark Radcliffe. Not an awful lot in that sentence to raise one’s expectations…. However, the Family turn out to be a delightfully relaxed, very competent folk band led by their drummer; and Mark Radcliffe is no Phil Collins (phew).

He strikes a surprisingly impressive figure, bashes professionally at his busker-like drumkit, and introduces each number with variations on the phrase “and here’s another drinking song”. With tunes simply titled ‘Cheese and Beer’ and ‘Rolling Home’, solid singalong choruses underpinned by solid musicianship and the band’s obvious, infectious enjoyment, it is impossible not to like them. Playing in pubs in the town before and after the gig, the good people of Ullapool are as fond of them as the band is of Ullapool. It’s a love match.

Next on The Bees, from Ventnor, on the Isle of Wight play a non stop game of musical chairs with instruments instead of seats. Michael Clevett leaves his drumkit to pick up the bass as singer/guitarist Paul Butler takes his place; meanwhile bassist Aaron Fletcher moves to keyboards, then vocals, Tim Parkin puts down the bass to play keyboards before returning to his trumpet, Paul joins him on trumpet, walks over to keyboards, then later picks up a saxophone so Aaron produces a bullhorn, and shakes some maraccas.

Keyboardist Warren Humphries stays in one place but staves off boredom by turning his hand to some nifty percussion. Only bescarfed guitarist Kris Birkin (think Johnny Depp as Keith Richards) sticks to his axe and drives the whole thing along.

It’s a dazzling collective display of musicianship. Some of their songs seem very familiar and oh, yes, of course you’ve heard ‘A Minha Menina’, ‘Chicken Payback’ and ‘Wash in the Rain’ a zillion times in TV commercials (for Citroen, Sure for Men and Sainsbury’s, respectively).

Those advertising honchos know a thing or two about catchy music – if you’ve never seen the Bees, change that at the earliest opportunity. (Please note, dear Editor, the complete absence in this paragraph of any reference to the buzz, honey, drones, hive mentality or any other apian puns….) [Full marks for resisting temptation – Ed.]

The marquee seems to be full while the Bees are on but as the time for the headliners approaches there is barely space to breathe. The soundtrack for the changeover, with songs the crowd can sing along to, keeps up the energy and good humour that has been building all day, till Janice Long appears on stage to announce the main event, and then finally Franz Ferdinand walk casually on and launch into their set.

Here, a few feet in front of a joyfully ecstatic crowd, is a number one band, a band whose music is loved and played around the world – here, in Ullapool. Kanye West calls their music ‘white crunk’, they themselves call it ‘pop’ and say it’s ‘for girls to dance to’.

Pop? Stripped down structures, intelligent passionate lyrics, tight, sharp, tough playing, and elegant cheekbones (Nick McCarthy) – more than anything Franz Ferdinand evoke the finest years of The Clash with added Weegie warmth. On Monday they’ll be in Shetland with, adorably, a matinee for the under-14s. Imagine The Clash ever risking their street cred that way…no, Franz Ferdinand are treasurably unique.

Anyway, it’s not just girls, everyone is dancing – men, women and children (mostly held aloft on parents’ shoulders) – to old favourites and tracks from the soon to be released new album recorded in Glasgow this year, like ‘Ulysses’ and ‘Katherine Kiss Me’ ( there are many who need no such invitation, judging by the underwear being waved aloft).

Generously they do not make the crowd wait for the big hits; we’re barely halfway down the setlist when the opening bars of ‘Take Me Out’ herald a mass resurgence of pogo-ing throughout the crowd. At the start of ‘Matinee’, Kapranos gracefully waves his hand in a white spotlight and conjures a cinema with that single, simple gesture – magic.

All too soon they take a quick break, then bound back for a brilliant encore set, holding nothing back, building to perennial favourite ‘This Fire’ – suddenly augmented by a brass section, and road crew acting as extra drummers. Incredibly, this cranks the energy up even higher and the crowd sings and dances along as one – and then it’s over.

Franz Ferdinand join hands and bow to the audience together in traditional theatrical style like the stars they are and the crowd roars its thanks for a stunning show. Outside, white horses top the waves in Loch Broom, the wind is whipping at tent ropes, drums are beating in the campsite, and three thousand happily satisfied people are wandering off into the night to party on all over Ullapool.

A few years ago, Franz Ferdinand burst out of Glasgow like a comet, their success pulling a tail of other Scottish acts behind them. Now they’ve toured the Highlands and the Outer Isles, let’s hope that tail follows again.

© Jennie Macfie, 2007

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